So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
