I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she peed on how many people?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
