I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We got so high we made milksteak
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
