in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
