wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
