Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
