Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
