ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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