WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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