woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
