When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize