I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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