somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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