I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
