my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
