The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
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