Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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