Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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