Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
