need another drink. this is the easiest way
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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