Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
