Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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