Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The uberlube is also flammable
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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