I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
