I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
