why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
