Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
