Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
