K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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