You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
