I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
