Please, let me fuck your mom
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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