There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize