Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
