so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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