We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
