Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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