In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
