Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
