my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
pop tarts are not kleenex
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
