i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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