I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
