I swear she didn't look like that last week.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
