it's too hot outside to masturbate.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
