He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
