I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
