Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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