carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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