Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
