Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
