She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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