Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We were destined to go to rehab together
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
