their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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