Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
