We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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