winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
