Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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